The Men of Yoshiwara Review

Oddly enough, There is a real Yoshiwara district with real prostitutes from around Tokugawa shogunate, I believe (but don’t quote me, I would wiki it but the search bar is way over there and I’m too lazy to reach it).

You are a delivery girl running errands in the red light district and upon arriving at a shop for said delivery you are mistaken for a rich Ojou-sama. (because the clothes were not a dead give away you’re poor af.) As such you’re chased around by a pile of male prostitutes. Hilarity and ichaicha ensues.

kagura.jpg

I started with Kagura because Hakuoki game play got to me and I have a thing for Samurai’s now.

moeoverload#moe

He has a cold, aloof way of things especially since Mary Sue made it clear she won’t sleep with just anyone (because that is TOTALLY why you are going to a whorehouse. To NOT sleep with someone). So most of the game play is getting to know each other and him slowly teaching her whatislove.wav.

At one point in the game she sees him practicing kendo and the camera angle of the sword makes it look like a giant dong and I couldn’t help but LMAO every time I saw it.

Anyhoo, eventually her uncle decides to hire him to run a school because his giant dong kendo is so great he wanted him as a sensei. Then he proposes to Mary Sue and they run off to her room to do the frick frack while her parents aren’t home.

faint

I picked Takao next even though I found him annoying when I first saw him. Plus his surprised look in the CG’s kinda makes you wanna hand him a Downy bottle…but I digress.

takao

Takao is the most famous courtesan so he’s kind of pushy and Mary Sue is a fairly innocent girl so maybe that’s why she fell so hard? Not sure. They end up planning to run away together but not before going to the mainland to meet his father because they MAY BE SIBLINGS. At that point I’m all: maybe you should have thought of that BEFORE you had teh sex? He also wanted to see why Oto-san was leeching so much money off him. (Is there such a thing as parasite parents like with parasite children?) Turns out he’s a lazy ex-prostitute. Mystery solved. Also, they are not related so they go off to hump happily ever after.

I did Tokiwa next even though he was kinda rape-y in Takao’s route (Oh, you crazy haifu’s.)

tokiwa

Mostly I wanted to see if they would make him a stereotypical foreigner. I was happily surprised they didn’t. He is actually pretty endearing for a guy that appears to use loogies as hair gel. I got rather bored with his route tbh. I think it’s the lack of voice acting but the game starts to get tedious after awhile.

There are other bishies to play with routes but -my- last one was Iroha.

iroha

He’s a demon/ogre, and a demon manager. I had to fight the urge not to call him kuroshitsuji and draw an eye patch on Mary Sue. (He totally reminded me of black butler.) He decided since he is a demon instead of using his powers to rule the world, or make a whole new Dante’s Inferno, he will use his powers for good AND HELP MEN IMPREGNATE WOMEN EVERYWHERE!

wait-what-meme

This honestly threw me off. His character is very worldly so he seems almost bemused my Mary Sues innocence. I did like the play through I guess I just found him a little ridiculous because of the whole Oni thing.

 

My final thoughts is for the two or three bucks it was on steam it was a good way to kill time, but I found the lack of voice acting annoying. Everything that would make the story good is therefore dependent on the writing. Unfortunately most of it has grammar mistakes or mis-spellings; or things like CG’s that make the guys look so ridiculous you can’t take the game seriously.

If I could take a guess, the mantra they had for the game while designing it was: Who needs good when you have good enough.

regretnothing

For the price of a coffee, I recommend buying it. Just don’t expect it to be on the same visual level as Hakuoki or similar period games. Plus expect it to be written something akin to Hakuoki if it was fanfic.

 

Toreishi Noblesse

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