Putting Tui to bed (My parrot, it’s maori for bird I’m told. Yes, I’m an uncreative parront.) I normally ask Ducky to do it because he doesn’t bite him. Last night: Can you put Tui down for me? Sure. *turns to Tui* You’re small, you’re blue, and you’re a terrible burden on your poor mother. ahahaha!… Continue reading This is not a post and lie cake is a lie.
I swear my lollipop wrapper said desentery flavour today. When I looked closer at it I realized it said mystery. Which could still mean its dysentery, it is a mystery after all, and pink is an untrustworthy colour in candy. It tasted like pink, or possibly that is the flavour of dysentery? Wow. Worst candy… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
Most perverted superhero name ever: “Who are you?” “The flash.” “Whaddya do?” “Wanna see?” Toreishi Noblesse
Today I learned there is a crab that cannot swim under water and is the size of a garbage can (average size). A GARBAGE CAN YOU GUYS. Like the gods were sitting around one day, and were all: let’s make this monstrosity of a sea crab. For shits and giggles. Will he live in the… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
“Other shoe to drop…Oh, You mean he’s killing puppies?” “Eh?” “You know, He has this box of 12 puppies in his closet and every time something good happens, He has to kill a puppy- *WHAP!* *ROWR!* “Can you imagine if he won the lottery? He’d have to kill the whole box!” Toreishi Noblesse