Talking childhood stories with a friend and I told her about the time I was like, 8 or so, and got a severe cut on my leg that cut a vein, the worst part, aside from my mum’s BF punching an orderly, was the fact that I lost so much blood, the baby pink bath… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
Game: You cannot open this door without a key. Me: See, I have this grenade launcher and… Game: No. You need a key. Me: But I also have this lock pick set so I was thinking… Game: No! You can’t! It’s a key, a gold key with this crown on it, real old timey looking.… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
Big boob problems: You knock over stuff you don’t see under them. You get stains at work but don’t see them til you look in a mirror. EVERYTHING that falls, somehow ends up in your cleavage. bras last 6 months. Bras never seem to do their damned job. Clothing bought in asia has to be… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
Talking with Ducky about his ma’mere saying once, that her son died of a poisonous soccer ball (Just to clarify, Nain had dementia) : Me: Who eats a soccer ball? Ducky: Wait, what? Me: Oooh, you meant venomous. Ducky: Yes, thank you Ms. Pedantic! Yeah, see kitten, it was this poisonous soccer ball he ate,… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
I swear because I can. I swear because I was raised by tradesmen and I am used to profanity. I swear because I spent 4 years lecturing grown men about the safety hazards of heights even when they blatantly defy their own well being. I swear because I goddamned want to, and you telling me… Continue reading This is not a post and the cake is a lie.
Porn stars and WWE. They both get paid to fake it. …and elected leaders.
Met a new friend who has only been in Canada four months. He’s afraid to experience his first Canadian winter. So I said on behalf of all of us; I’m sorry. We don’t like it either.